So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
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I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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