my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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