Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
