I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
