She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
