I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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