No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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