I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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