I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize