grandma shit on top of the toilet
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
