Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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