i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
