why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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