You're so nebulous sometimes
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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