Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
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the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
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I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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