Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i've created a new STD.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
