OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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