come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
