So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
