she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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