drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
