don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
