She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i love accidental penises.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
