We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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