Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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