Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
