yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize