There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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