I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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