i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
And the cops told us we were all naked.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
