I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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