My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This is my gift to your gina
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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