ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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