woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
