GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize