their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
