So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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