So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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