I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
