conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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