Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize