its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
