How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
