I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
