i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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