Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
