OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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