I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
