I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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