I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
