Do you still have your period?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
