i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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