it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize