You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
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